|
Reality Check
It's a whole new world when you bring your baby home. Here's help navigating the first weeks.
By Kathryn McGrath, MSW, LSW, CD(DONA), LCCE, FACCE
After bringing baby home, new parents often discover that much of what they spent so much time learning and worrying about (diapering, bathing) turns out to be a piece of cake. Instead, it’s a whole set of larger issues that turn out to be more difficult than expected. Research shows that parents who anticipate and discuss these issues fare much better than those who don’t. A bit of advance knowledge and planning will make everything that much easier when baby arrives. Here are some of the challenging new realities that you are bound to encounter, as well as suggestions on how to best adapt to the changes.
Reality: Baby care is extremely hard work.
I know what you’re thinking. How could a sweet little 7-pound infant be that tough to handle? The answer lies in the sheer amount of time that baby care takes. If you’re not convinced, do the math: In a 24-hour period, newborns need to eat eight to 12 times (with each feeding lasting 20 to 40 minutes), have their diapers changed a dozen or more times, and be bathed, cuddled and comforted. An experienced parent can tell you that anything done with a baby takes five times longer than you think it will. Add to that the increased household responsibilities (think baby laundry galore!) and you’ve got a lot to accomplish each and every day.
Time is about to become a very precious commodity. You need to make tough decisions about what’s going to be done and who’s going to do it. Taking care of a baby is not a showy task – you can work yourself silly all day long and have nothing to show for it except a happy baby. A partner who understands and values that is worth his weight in gold.
You and your partner will have to allocate chores in the fairest way possible. Resentment over the inequality of work distribution is one of the most common, and potentially destructive, issues that couples face. Take time now to talk about how you can fairly divide the increased work. The future of your relationship hinges on teamwork and being partners in every sense of the word.
Reality: Sleep deprivation is a very big deal.
Having a baby will change your appreciation of sleep. Never again, for the rest of your life, will you take it for granted. How can you make sure everyone in the family gets as much rest as possible?
Make your sleeping arrangements based on where and how all of you can get the best sleep. This is different for each person. You may want the baby in his own room. Remember that what works now may change with the baby’s age.
Sleep whenever you can. Daytime sleep is just as important as nighttime sleep. If you’re not a day sleeper, you may have to fool your body into thinking it’s night by putting on your pajamas and drawing the shades.
Learn how to breastfeed lying down so that you can rest as you feed. See if both you and your baby can take a nap after a long, peaceful feeding.
Dad can play an important role in feeding, even if you’re breastfeeding. How? He can bring the baby to you, change
the diaper before you switch to the second breast and then get the baby back to sleep afterward. That way, you hardly have to wake up.
Reality: Parents have needs, too.
Attention all moms and moms-to-be:Read this section twice! New moms have a knack for taking care of everyone but themselves. It’s essential that you figure out how to meet your own needs as well as your baby’s.
Time for yourself is not time stolen from your family; in fact, it’s necessary to replenish yourself so that you can continue to give. It isn’t self-indulgent to catch a nap, take a few minutes for a cup of tea, exercise or spend time with a friend. Remember, you’re a woman as well as a mom.
This is not to say that there won’t be a major priority shift when your baby is born. Activities that seemed vital before birth may fall into the “who cares?” category afterward. Talk with your partner about each of your needs and how to make sure they are met.
1 2 | Next
|
 Printer Friendly Version
|
Baby Blues
Take the first step toward battling the severity of postpartum depression. Spot the symptoms
Getting Back to Business
Returning to work after having a baby isn’t an all-or-nothing decision. Decide what works
Pacifiers: Pros and Cons
Pacifiers may seem like a quick solution to quieting a fussy baby, as well as reducing the likelihood of SIDS, but these benefits are not as straightforward as they initially appear. Discover the risks
...See more Parenting articles
|
|